He Would Be There
by MeteorLeopard
Summary: Karin is alone and a storm is threatening. She needs someone to hold onto. Someone to hold her. Hitsukarin.


Title:_ He would be There_

Author: _MeteorLeopard (By 'HoneyBadger' - The 'MeteorLeopard' profile has two authors writing stories __)_

_AN: Alright. FIRST EVER PUBLISHED FANFIC! Oh yeah! Great feeling. This was just something to put onto the account under my name while I'm working through my other, much, much longer story (also Hitsukarin). I want to try and work out all of the bugs in that one before I publish it since it's quite a complex storyline and I don't want to confuse anybody. _

_But enough of that fanfic (I haven't even named it yet!), let's get back to this one. Just so you know, it's not funny and quite serious. My other story will be funnier. Promise. It's just that I wanted to try something like this. _

_Well, enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach (Wow, that felt weird to write)_

Karin's POV

It felt tiring. How the days just seemed to flow into one another and yet stand out in numbing, painful detail to me. My shoulders seemed heavy. Physically they were bruised and battered. I could see them in the mirror sometimes. More blue, yellow and purple than their normal tanned skin. Pavements and walls were hard but tar and gravel soccer pitches were rough, breaking my skin in some places, leaving scars.

Mentally, the weight of everything pressed down into me, seeming to double the mass of my bones and muscles and make my mind work slow from the pressure. Whenever I closed my eyes, the blackness was all I really wanted at that moment. Just relief. However brief it may be. _Just a bit of rest. Just a little._

But sleep is not an option. Whenever I seem to be close to falling to peaceful oblivion beneath my blankets, a nightmare will creep its way into the calm black, trailing its tentacles through the crevices and invading, intruding. The images and memories made me shrink away from them instinctively. They were too sore, too raw. They reminded me of too much. Blood was present in almost all of them. Whether it were a Hollow's blood, a soul's blood, my own blood, a shinigami's blood or Ichi-nee's blood. It was still there, horrible and dripping.

I couldn't even draw myself from the nightmares or lift myself from them. My body was just too tired, complaining to me about the need for rest, for peace, and therefore slept on, even through the nightmares. But when I woke… they left me scared, breathing hard and fast.

My teachers complained to me about anything, everything. They complained about me, about my slow work, about my appearance, the bags under my eyes, my battered visage and mottled look in my grey eyes. I tried to hide how tired I really am. But no matter how much I tidied myself up for school, there was always something wrong with me.

Otou-san had noticed too. He pointed it out to me one late night as I was helping him in the clinic yet again. But he had broken off as another patient's heart meter spun out of control, protesting at its incessant use. I had rushed to gather more towels and dinners while otou-san dealt with the patient.

Our clinic was filled to capacity, every bed occupied or used. Every hour, I had to deny people who needed the bed and help, giving them only brief treatment instead and sending them to the general hospital afterwards. The despairing look in their eyes when they realized that the Kurosaki clinic was full too… was draining on me. I felt useless. Like I was letting them down. Getting up in the mornings was difficult and required effort, the only incentive being that if I didn't get up, the nightmares would come back.

Not even Yuzu was there for me. I still remember Yuzu's earsplitting shriek. I felt my body turn cold every time I heard it echo in my ears. I had raced to the stairs to find my twin lying at the foot of the stairs, a small puddle of blood dripping steadily to the wooden floor beside her as she tried to move. Yuzu's ankle and femur bone were broken, fractured in several places. And she had hit her head and split the skin there, gaining a bad concussion. Yuzu was transferred to the general hospital that same hour, leaving the house and taking the remaining cheery energy with her. They couldn't even put their own family into their own clinic – they were that fully booked. Yuzu's bed upstairs was empty.

_Useless. Absolutely useless. _

I grew sadder every time that I saw another injured person and knew that I hadn't been able to help. Otou-san says I shouldn't blame myself. _Useless. I'm so useless._

My shoulders hadn't discoloured for nothing. My skin hadn't broken and bled for nobody. Each hollow that I killed saved another person, another life, prevented another injury, prevented more hurt. But each time that a knock echoed on the door, I could feel the guilt rise up again. I could have stopped this. I could have helped.

I barely noticed my friends nowadays as I left after school. They didn't know what to say to me. Or maybe they had nothing to say and I barely acknowledged them or anybody else much around me these days. It wasn't that I was ignoring them. It's just that I had nothing to say to them either. They couldn't understand. Hollows, Shinigami, Aizen, Espada, nightmares, exhaustion, injury, battle and blood weren't the worlds they lived in.

I could almost feel a slight numbness on my skin that broke every time that hurt penetrated again. Sometimes I wondered vaguely when the last time was that I had felt at ease. My mind responded only to this one question well. Very well. The images were almost instant and his voice was still clear. This is the only thing that I had no trouble remembering.

'_Don't worry, he is your brother after all.'_

I had smiled back. Right now, I'm not sure how long ago it was. Perhaps a few days. Maybe a few weeks. Or a month. Maybe two. My calendar claimed that it was more than three. I wouldn't know. But…

Ichi-nee was still missing.

'_Kurosaki is training to become stronger. The same as you. No matter what happens he doesn't give up until the very end. That's how he is.'_

His words had reassured me. They had put me at ease. And while he was there it was easy to believe them. Those words… But back at home, with Ichi-nee's empty room, the filling clinic, the cries of pain… it was hard to hold onto them. I often covered my ears when I was beneath my blankets.

I descend the steps towards the clinic entrance. I didn't look at the clock on the wall but judging by the darkness outside, it was past nine. Maybe even later. Probably. But that might've been the brewing storm and the thunderclouds rolling on.

I drew on a pair of gloves and proceeded to take readings and measurements from the patients. Most were already asleep. I envied them slightly. Their dreams were so peaceful looking. Urahara-san's memory modifiers were becoming part of the regular doctor's job now, daily supplies arriving in boxes. I used them hourly.

Just then otou-san entered the room and I heard him walk quietly up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Karin, go upstairs."

"No, you're leaving on your business trip. I'm doing the regular evening check-up."

I heard otou-san sigh. "Then I'll help you before I leave."

"I'm almost done in any case. It's just two more patients."

I barely registered him shaking his head at me before bending down and putting both of his hands on my shoulders. His eyes looked worried but he still had a slight smile on his face. Just like the one he had worn when he had told Ichi-nee as a small kid to share what he was really feeling. I felt a stab through my heart. "Karin. I'll be back by latest tomorrow evening. Are you sure that you're alright on your own?"

I vaguely think that he might have asked me this before. "Yes."

Otou-san scrutinized me for a little while longer before closing his eyes briefly and straightening up again. "Alright. Bye, Karin."

And he walked away, leaving me to finish up. I heard his footsteps retreat up the stairs again as I placed the last clip board onto its designated place. I waited, pretending to be busy, until I heard a car start on the street and pull away, disappearing down the road.

When I glanced out of the window at the darkening sky, I barely thought twice about the storm threatening to break. The clouds are low and thick looking, oppressive and dense, sealing Karakura in like a coffin lid. Already I could hear the cold winds cutting through the air and stirring up the creaking branches of the trees, making their leaves whisper anxiously.

I dismissed the thought and went to busy myself for a while, making dinner. Since Yuzu had been admitted into the hospital, I had tried taking over Yuzu's chores aswell. I wasn't very good with a vacuum but had gotten the hang of a broom and mop. I wasn't too bad at simple meals, not that I had tried attempting anything more ambitious than scrambled eggs and maybe spaghetti once or twice.

I shuffled through the cupboards but couldn't settle on anything to eat. Finally, after staring into blank space for a while, I pulled out a tupperware of soup that Yuzu had frozen and set it on the stove to defrost – slowly. I wasn't hungry and taking my time would give me an excuse to put off the inevitable sleep. Outside the wind picked up and rain lashed against the windows, driving against the panes. I watched it absently. The wind was howling now, whistling around the corners of the clinic and moaning in the trees.

Faintly, I could pick up a different sound from the rain against the windows and roof. Something louder. An icy cold wind suddenly entered under my clothes and brought out the gooseflesh on my skin and made me grip at my arms tightly and cringe in on myself.

_The window!_

My eyes widened slightly as I realized that the upstairs passage window was opened wide. I abandoned my defrosting soup and hastily pulled it off the stove. I bolted up the stairs and skidded to a stop on the slippery, slick floor. I felt my socks getting soaked through from stepping in the growing water pool. Grasping the edges of the freezing metal sliding window, I leant to the one side and put my weight behind it as I tried to push the window closed. It was jammed.

_Shit._

Leaning the other way I tried to yank it closed instead. Still jammed. Irritable and agitated, I stepped into the full force of the gale and icy pelting drops flung inside by the rain and squinted as I attempted from another angle, my shirt becoming spattered with cold and beginning to cling to me. The window inched closed.

_Almost there. _

I adjusted my grip on the window, still squinting into the dark and cold and suddenly the sliding hinge gave way – and I slammed my fingers in the window.

Pain shot up her my arm and made me yelp and then shriek a moment later as my blood dripped from the wound. Tears sprang to my eyes but I stopped them. I hadn't cried about anything yet. _I'm never going to. No._ An injured hand is the least of my problems right now.

Suddenly my eyes, now adjusted to the dark, caught something light flapping wildly in the howling gale. Thunder crashed and an instant later lightning came again, thunder following it up. The storm was right above me.

But the white object made my stomach drop. There, hanging from the line, was today's laundry. And at the force that the wind was going, it was only a matter of time until some of the clothes were ripped free and blown away.

"Shit!" Cursing loudly as yet more thunder rumbled and holding my hand to my chest, even though the blood would stain it, I ran back downstairs to grab the washing basket and unlatch the bottom glass sliding door that led to the garden.

As soon as I slid the door aside, I wished I hadn't. I was instantly soaked, my hair flung back and the biting wind cutting through my clothing, getting to my skin. It was pitch black outside, thunder clashing deafeningly loud and lightning setting the sky on fire for instances of pure power. I yelped again as lightning flashed and I felt my hair standing on end.

_Don't be stupid. It's just lightning._

I ran through this darkness and found the washing line. Blindly I began ripping down the clothes, not even caring if the pegs were there or not. My hand began to pain from the abuse and the severe, bone chilling cold. I could feel my muscles seizing up as the icy rain forced them to contract. I fumbled with the twisted clothes, trying vainly to yank down a pair of jeans and I stepped forward again. Lightning flashed and I felt my back go dead straight as the scream escaped me. My shock made me lose my footing, placing my right leg too far to the front. The ground was no longer even and my foot caught the rock beneath my sole at an awkward angle. My balance forgotten, I fell.

The water froze my blood and the splash of mud and rain sounded in my ears as the thunder abated for that moment. I lay still for an instant, immersed in mud, freezing, soaking, hurting. And then I yelled. I yelled and yelled. I just yelled. My lungs ached with my scream as I depleted their air, my scream turning hoarse and getting lost on the wind.

That fall had opened the floodgate. Perhaps it was just the shock. Maybe it was the humiliation. Maybe even the pain. But the next thing I knew, I was lying on my front on the muddy ground in my garden, sobbing and crying, tears streaming down my face and mingling with the mud.

The thunder was still loud, the lightning still threatening, the clouds still looming. But that all didn't matter. I grasped at the limp grass as I rolled to my side, curling my legs beneath me and tucking my head to my own chest, still screaming.

_I need to hold on to something! Something!_

Finally my lungs could yell no more and my voice was fading, becoming scratchy. My sobs began to quiet and I curled up on myself further, not bothering to move. Already my skin had become numb from the incessant whipping of the rain lashing against me, the incredible cold of it all and the freezing wind that penetrated my clothes. I was frozen solid. I didn't move, I just lay there, waiting for my will to come back.

"Karin?"

Another memory… So I was dreaming again. _Who is going to die this time?_

"Karin!"

The voice sounded a little urgent by now. _Strange._ _I'm not seeing any pictures yet._ Perhaps my mind would let me imagine the tortures.

Something touched my shoulder but I didn't feel it. I was numb. Utterly numb. My shoulder was being shaken now. The hand felt strong…

My eyes opened a little, glancing up briefly at the person. Their face was close to mine. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I squinted through the rain, still too numb to really be surprised. "T…T…"

The boy leant in and I was finally able to see his face through the dark. He looked… angry. "Let's get you inside."

I was still thinking about his words, hearing them but not registering, when he picked me up and entered my house within a few strides. The warmth of the indoor lights spilled over me as the boy set me down gently and closed the door, the thunder, rain, lightning and dark all being dulled instantly. Absently I heart the thud of the laundry basket being dumped unceremoniously in the corner. I was staring ahead of myself, my hands still clutching at my arms desperately. Shivers wracked my frame. And I could do nothing to stop them. _Useless. Again._

I was dimly aware of two hands grasping my shoulders from behind and steering me in the general direction of the couch, turning me around to sit on it and then a thick blanket, previously lying over the top of the couch, being laid around my shoulders as the same two hands rubbed up and down my upper arms, trying to create friction and get me warm.

Slowly the shivers abated and I was able to look up again. I stared at the boy for a long time. He still had his incredible white hair. His amazing and mesmerizing teal eyes were just as captivating as ever. Somehow it seemed too surreal to be true.

"T…Toushirou?"

His eyes seemed to narrow just a little at my voice and I realized that it had sounded hoarse. "Which way's the bathroom?"

I pointed down the passage, realizing that my arm was shaking. _Great. Now I look fragile._

I felt Toushirou's hands tighten on my arms a little before I felt him steering me in the direction that I'd pointed. I just let myself be led down the passage, not even protesting when he opened the door to the bathroom rather violently and then immediately went towards the tub and began to run hot water. I just watched, still not entirely focused, my mind still lost in the rain outside.

"Take a bath and warm up."

I looked back over my shoulder and just saw Toushirou close the door behind him, the lock clicking into place. I stared at it for a moment longer before turning back to the tub. My frozen hand managed to somehow grasp the tap and turn the water off. The hot steam rising from the water was nice, thawing out my muscles but it was still hard to remove my soaked clothing. I stood for a moment, shivering beside the tub before lifting myself into the warm water. The warmth was a shock to my frigid limbs and I almost cried out in pain as my skin burned. I bit down on my lip and endured it, my body finally warming up and adjusting to the temperature. It was actually really nice. Slowly I slid further under the water and began to wash the mud from my body. The heat was seeping into my skin but I knew that I was remaining tense. I had been tense for weeks now. A bath would do nothing to change that.

Pulling my legs up to my chest, I sat curled up on myself, just staring ahead. I watched the tap drip every now and again, my mind blissfully blank for the time being. I wasn't tired. That was good. That way I wouldn't have to sleep just yet.

Moving my fingers a little, I noticed my hand that I had closed in the window. With the blood washed off the cut looked only half as bad, a long line across the back of my hand and, when I turned it around, another shallower cut in my palm aswell. It was looking clean now so I didn't bother to bandage it.

The water was becoming cooler now, the steam rising slower and thinner from the surface of the water.

_Cold._

My mind wandered to Toushirou. Why had he been there? In my yard, in the middle of the night? I couldn't even come up with a single good excuse.

I shivered again as the water lost its remaining warmth as if my thoughts of the ice prince could cause the temperature to drop. Drawing myself out of the water, I stood dripping on the bathmat for a moment and looked around, remembering something.

_My clothes._

I didn't have any with me. Toushirou had just taken me to the bathroom right away to warm up. I hadn't had time to go up to my room. Already shivering, I wrapped a towel around my shoulders and tiptoed to the bathroom door, tentatively placing my hand on the handle before opening the door a crack and peeping into the corridor. I couldn't see anybody and the passage light was switched on, more light coming from the kitchen area. Opening the door wider, I slipped into the hallway but stopped. Something soft was pressing up beneath my foot and I looked down. I was standing on my favourite pair of pajamas, a thick black top with long, warm grey pants. I stared at the clothes for a moment before picking them up and continuing to stare at them. I felt something on my face and with one hand reached up to touch it. I knew my eyes widened slightly. The corners of my mouth were turned up. I was smiling.

Stepping back into the bathroom I began pulling on the pajamas. Toushirou had even remembered my underwear. It made me blush slightly to know that he'd seen it.

_Don't be stupid. He knew all of my clothes would be dirty and wet_.

Smiling. That was something that I hadn't done in a while…

When I stepped into the passage I noticed how chilly the air outside of the bathroom was. My bare feet padded down the hall towards the lights in the kitchen. It was warmer in the room than in the passage and I glanced around. My eyes fixed on the couch again first and I saw another clean blanket lying over the couch, half unfolded. I smiled slightly again.

_Strange…_

Wrapping myself in the blanket I huddled tighter into it, trying to warm myself up. The blanket helped a little but my muscles were still stiff. Why couldn't they just relax for once. _Please?_

Footsteps sounded on the wood and I glanced up. I was only mildly surprised to see Toushirou standing almost right above me now, holding a cup of steaming liquid in his hand.

"Here."

Hesitantly, I reached up and took the cup that Toushirou handed me. Immediately my fingers felt warm and the pleasant tingles spread throughout my hands and slowly up my arms. But that's as far as they got. There was only so much that a cup of strong tea could warm.

"Thanks." I found myself whispering. I still didn't trust my voice. I felt the couch shift as Toushirou sat down beside me. I noticed how his arms were crossed – not unusual for him. He wasn't looking directly at me but his eyes lacked a little of the coldness of our first… and last meeting. They still made my heart beat slightly faster.

I slowly brought the cup to my lips and managed a sip. My eyes widened slightly in surprise. It was strong tea with a bit of honey and no milk or sugar in it. Just the way that I always had it. My favourite.

_How… did Toushirou know that…_

I took another, longer sip, letting my body warm up from the drink. The warmth made me shiver into the blanket again and it was quiet in the room as I worked my way through my tea.

Finally I finished it, setting the empty cup aside on a smaller coffee table, drawing the blanket in tighter.

"Are you alright now?"

I looked over at Toushirou who was staring right back at me. I managed to nod. "Thanks, Toushirou."

His eyes bored into me for a little while longer but I somehow didn't feel uncomfortable. I looked right back at him, meeting his gaze but not glaring. I just somehow couldn't muster a glare. I was still shivering on the inside. When he spoke, his voice sent more shivers up my spine. It was angry.

"What the hell did you think you were doing out there?"

I didn't even protest but turned my eyes away from him, shivering into the blanket more. The effects of the tea were already wearing off.

His voice was different now. His tone had changed. Just like the time after the soccer match. "Did something happen?"

His simple question, the care that belay his cold tone, twisted my insides. I felt myself freeze up, my muscles tensing for lockdown as I felt my hot tears from earlier begin to surface again.

"Karin?"

Maybe it was my name that did it. But I could feel the tears and there was no stopping them. I just let them fall, silently and steadily streaking my face. Beside me, Toushirou seemed a little unnerved.

"O-oi, what's wrong?"

I just felt the tears coming harder and I bit my lip to stop the sob. I clutched my arms more tightly and tried to stop them.

_I don't want to cry! Stop it!_

I felt a hand on my shoulder. A warm, comforting hand… safe.

I didn't even think about my reaction to that contact – I just turned and hung onto Toushirou's shirt for all I was worth, crying there and wetting it even further. Toushirou seemed frozen for a moment but then I felt him relaxing, and, ever so tentatively, place his hand back on my shoulder. When my immediate response to that was to grip onto his shirt tighter, I felt him shift to look down at my shaking shoulders for a moment before I felt the heat from his body grow larger and him shifting closer and putting his other hand onto my back, pulling his arms around me.

I felt warm there and, for the moment, not at all embarrassed about whose shirt I was crying into. Toushirou meant safety and comfort right now and when he began to move his hands over my back, I began to calm down.

Slowly but surely I felt my breathing slow and my tears subside. But I didn't want to move away from Toushirou. Feeling his hands on my back was nice. I liked them there. So I just kept holding onto Toushirou's shirt – less intensely but still holding. I needed to hold onto something. So I clung onto him.

Toushirou's POV

I was still moving my hands over Karin's back. She was warm, even through the blanket. She had calmed down, at least her sobbing had stopped. Why had she been outside in the rain? It had been freezing out there. Why… had she just been lying there alone?

I looked down at Karin again. I could feel her hands clutching onto my shirt and pulled her slightly tighter towards me. Her breathing was evening out again.

The last few times that I'd seen her… she'd been getting steadily paler. At first she seemed fine. But then her deep grey eyes dulled and lost that light in them. _That_ _vibrant… captivating light. _Her smiles became papery until I never saw them at all anymore. I watched her trying to be brave for her family and frowned. She was far too hard on herself. Karin didn't know about this. About me watching her. I was just making sure that she was alright. That she was safe. I hadn't planned on ever coming out and letting her see me. Because I didn't know when I'd be leaving again. But… when I had heard her yell…

I frowned again and instinctively drew my arms more tightly around the girl. Her head rested up against the bottom of my chin. Her black hair was soft and smelled nice. Like wildflowers and fresh dew. I could almost feel my mind drifting again.

I rubbed her back further. Never have I been so glad that I know how to handle a hangover from Matsumoto. I followed a similar procedure for Karin: get her clean, warm and comfortable. Although… I had never had to really comfort Matsumoto before. Even she couldn't compare as to how Karin was looking now: disheveled, lost and lonely. I had never had to deal with this so close up before.

I looked down at Karin whose grip on my shirt was beginning to slacken, her fingers relaxing as I continued to run my hands over her back. Comforting someone… was surprisingly easy to do.

Karin's POV

I was becoming sleepy. Toushirou was so warm, his arms formed a barrier against anything outside, anything cold, his steady breathing was calming and the comforting motions his hands were making on my back eased the tension in my muscles that not even the hot bath could. I could almost feel each muscle slowly relaxing. I could feel my eyelids growing heavy and my hands relaxing completely against him, now only resting on his chest instead of clinging to his shirt. I felt safe.

Toushirou's POV

I continued to hold Karin in my arms even after she had calmed down. She didn't seem to want to move and I wasn't going to make her. And also… I actually liked having my arms around her. Slowly, I could feel her drifting off. Her body was getting slacker and slacker against mine with every passing minute, her breathing deeper and slower. Finally, she slipped under the last blanket of sleep and gave a low sigh. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Even though she was asleep, I couldn't help but continue to pull my hands over her back. Minutes passed and Karin was breathing evenly. My hands slowed and came to a stop, just resting on her now as I held her. Even this feeling was… nice.

I turned my head to the side and glanced at the clock on the wall. Past 2. In the morning. Looking down at Karin again, I carefully and smoothly gathered her up in my arms, the blanket still wrapped around her to trap the heat inside it and on her body. She stirred once at the shift but didn't wake. I began to walk, her warmth pressing against me even through the material. Quietly I made my way up the stairs and to her room. Softly pushing the door open with my foot, I entered the dark room again and gently deposited the sleeping girl onto her mattress. I pulled her blankets over her swiftly but not fast enough, so that some of the warmth escaped, making her curl her legs in closer to herself. There was hardly any light coming from outside the windows with the howling rain and wind still raging but the small crack of light from the passage was enough to let me see what I was doing as I tucked the blankets in around her. My hand accidentally brushed over her cheek as I fumbled for the duvet and I stopped at the contact of her warm skin and let my hand linger there for a moment before slowly moving my fingers to trail light as a butterfly's touch over her cheekbone. Almost tenderly, I moved my hand to cup her face gently.

Her sleeping face was peaceful. _So…_ _Beautiful._

I leant forward as my fingers tucked away a small strand of hair behind Karin's ear. It seemed as though the momentum from the lean was enough because I completed the motion and, with my eyes closing, pressed the lightest of kisses onto Karin's sleeping forehead.

When I stood back up I was staring at the girl transfixed. A tear streak was still visible on her cheek from earlier. I frowned. Whatever had been bothering her… had been enough to make this strong girl cry. Straightening up, I turned and walked to the other bed in the room. I didn't know nor care whose bed it was right now but I was going to sit on it for the time being. Because when Karin woke up… I was going to be there.

End

_So, how did you like it? This fic was originally in the third person so I apologize if I forgot to change it in some places. I did double and even triple check my work, just in case. _

_Please rate and review my story! Concrit is always welcome since I do want to become a better writer. Flames are unnecessary and just make a writer feel bad so… don't write those please._

_Also, I'm not so used to rating my stories since this is my first one. So if you think the rating is off, please tell me._

_Again, hope you enjoyed it! _


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